The Killing Fields are Lapisless

I am frustrated. There is no lapis here. The road to spawn is built and I’ve been through a couple of caves in the area. One of them beat my former diamond record - 12 diamonds! 12! The most I ever got before was 9. – and I even found the green record, which I’ve never had before. The green record, it turns out, is way better to my ear than the gold record. The monsters apparently have a hitherto unsuspected musical side to their nature. But lapis? No. No lapis. This means, I believe, that I am still living in the old world, despite the pine trees and pumpkins. Well, shit.

I set off, therefore, to find lapis. I found a biome that had birch trees and thought, okay, this has to be it. Driven by despair, I mined. I hate mining but I did it: dug all the way down to bedrock and then tunneled for miles in every possible direction. I found enough redstone dust to power a small city, iron galore, gold and even a few more diamonds, which is good, since I wore out my diamond pick, but no lapis. Therefore, there is no lapis here and I will never have blue wool. I am saddened by this, particularly since there is no cactus anywhere near my Killing Fields house. Therefore everything in it is orange or yellow or red or pink, which grows uneasy on the eye, no matter how appropriate the color scheme to the name.

To add injury to insult, I come extremely close to dying during my trek home to Killing Fields. Only extremely fast cheating – got into Peaceful Mode just in time – saved my life and my new diamond pick, helmet and sword. Cheating bothers me a little but honestly, who would not cheat Death if given half the chance? And he didn’t ask me to play chess, or twister for that matter, so it wasn’t like I had a whole lot of options here. Speaking of death, in the annals of geekery, I have started keeping an Excel spreadsheet of the ways I have managed to die. The spider/creeper combo attack is by far the most deadly, although creepers on their own are a formidable enemy. Only one zombie has taken me out so far and skeletons? Pah! I laugh at skeletons. They look scary but they are not so fearsome as they appear.