Blocky, We Hardly Knew Ye

Well, I briefly had a companion in my loneliness. I mean, sure, I can go around pretending that New Arcadia is filled with the happy sounds of children playing and bums panhandling for spare change down in the souk but in reality, it's just me, alone, in a world of unfurnished yet charming and extremely affordable bungalows. All that changed though, when I met Blocky. He was hard to tame - I think it took like seven bones - but then, lo, he was mine, following me everywhere, falling off things and generally getting in my way. I worried about his inability to walk through doors - well, I guess you don't need to learn about doors when you can teleport through walls, there is that - and his random, annoying, persistent bark. My daughter remarked that I was being nicer to him than to the three real hairy hounds that are farting gently beneath my desk even now and yeah, I suppose I was. Blocky got taken out to run in the woods, which hardly ever happens in real life, because real life is full of joggers with no sense of humor who mysteriously object to unleashed dogs.

It was one of those runs that proved Blocky's downfall. We were scouting for caves even though I had a feeling that having Blocky in a cave might be a huge mistake, given his total and absolute lack of coordination or common sense - my real life dogs hardly ever fall off cliffs or into lava - but we were going to give it a try anyway. All was going well but I was a little lost and it was getting dark. I would have dug in for the night but I spotted two more dogs and, since I am determined to replicate my world in Minecraft and also am crazy, I want two more dogs. I tamed them quickly . . . and then the creeper came. In every life the sun must set. RIP Blocky. You will be missed.